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Dear Linda, I trust you are well. I am now 80. I get so-called senior moments and lapses of memory. My brain has lost much of its agility. Now, in my old age, I am no longer as nimble-brained as i used to be, with a marked deterioration in the last 3 to 5 years. When young I used to study long hours. I loved books and I adored art and, after art, foreign languages. My native language is Maltese, but my father, who's grandfather Salvatore Flores, started the first private school in Malta, foresaw the greater REACH of English, and I never spoke a word of Maltese in my early formative years. My memory soaked up foreign languages with ease. However, my childhood and adolescence soon became traumatic and, suddenly, at 20 years of age, I developed a full-blown OCD in all its glory. This was 60 years ago, in 1964, 2 years after I returned from London.

I was given Librium which didn't work. Then valium which restored the world to a better perspective, and, at 28 years of age, was switched to 2mgs of Lorazepam 4 times daily. For some years, I took barbiturates, Tuinal, Seconal, Nembutal, but, at 37 I weaned myself off the latter stuff and have never touched sleeping pills again since then. But Lorszepam was and is a tyrant I cannot overcome. I am now on 2mgs of Lorazepam, 5 times daily. Often in my younger years did I shave this amount to zero over six months or a year, but my OCD RETURNED WITH A VENGEANCE, AND I HAD TO RESUME THE LORAZEPAM.

EVEN WHEN STILL 2O, MY OCD WORRIED ME SO MUCH, WITH ITS RUMINATIONS AND OVER-WORRYING, THAT IT WORE MY BRAIN OUT, AND BY 21 YEARS OF AGE, RIGHT UP UNTIL NOW, I SUFFER WHEN I TRY TO CONCENTRATE ON READING DIFFICULT BOOKS. I get to the end of the page by which time I will have forgotten the beginning.

However, if I read the same page a second time, even months later, I realise that I had read its contents before. I STRUGGLE TO CONCENTRATE ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND!!

Well, Linda, it was nice talking to you.

May God bless you and all your family. My illness, I offer humbly to Jesus in reparation for sin, especially my own.

In the final analysis, it opened me up much more to the sufferings of others,and made me a MUCH BETTER HUMAN-BEING.

Sincerely,

Marcus

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Thank you for sharing that Marcus. Congratulations on weaning yourself off so many medications. When the Med Beds are available in just over a year's time, let us sincerely hope that many people such as yourself will gain a new lease of life 🙏

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