Some thoughts about kindness
We are brought up to feel that there is always someone worse off than we are and we must show them kindness. Have you ever thought how that actually makes the other person feel?
I watch a lot of true crime. There's a kind of horrible fascination to discovering there are so many people who fit the "how could anyone do such a thing?" category. You really do have to be very careful who you show kindness to. Like the psychologist says, people who are not kind will just see it as weakness. Most murder documentaries seem to start with: "Such a sad loss. He/she was the kind of person who would give you the shirt off his back".
This video is from the Tips From Psychologist account on TikTok.
One murder documentary (USA) was about a young man whose mother had brought him up to always give something to homeless people. He met a homeless man who belonged to a community living in tents nearby. He kindly thought maybe they would like to share some wine with him. He bought a few bottles and his new friend took him to the camp. He was never heard from again. They killed him and stole his credit cards.
In another documentary (UK) a police ancillary worker was going to be alone for Christmas. He chatted to a homeless man and invited him back to his flat (apartment) for a drink. The man asked if his friend could come along. They overpowered him, stole his money and credit cards and left him hog-tied on his bed. He was not found for ten days and died shortly after.
In a documentary on British people who moved to Africa, a young women told the story of how her husband died and she moved to Kenya to start a new life with a small life insurance payout. She made a new “best friend” out of a native therapist whom she paid for massage. Told her new friend everything about her tragedy and about the small sum of money she had. I don’t recall the details of how it happened but she got scammed by the new friend, lost everything and had to go back to the UK.
Always remember the Monty Python “poverty sketch” —men competing with each other about how poor they were, each one trying to outdo the other.
It’s funny but that’s because it’s so true. No matter how poor you think you are, everyone else in your social circle believes they have less than you do.
Of course this usually doesn’t result in a crime, I’m just trying to show the other side of the coin to my readers who were taught to believe that all people are inherently good. Watch a little true crime!
Of course it’s a good thing to give to others less fortunate. But maybe don’t let them know it’s you. Deep down, most will resent you for having more than them and being able to give it away. There are very, very few people spiritually elevated enough to be grateful for more than a week or two.